We had our first Fake Xmas Dinner. The Totally Fake Xmas Dinner is in the Spring when we can get everyone together in one place.
I made my version of Jamie Oliver’s Turkey Wellington. I could not find puff pastry. I tortured several stock boys (I am a sexist when it comes to grocery stock jocks, I always let the girls flee) and still they could not tell me where it was to be found, so I had to settle with frozen pie shells. They did reluctantly confess as to where the dried Porcini mushrooms were and yet I had to torture NOT ONE, but THREE of them to finally zero in on the treasure. It seems the SUPER GROCERY STORE GODS only allow their minions small sections of the map to find the golden fleece…
The turkey breast had a bone in it so I had to de-bone it myself and that meant it wasn’t all nice and neat like the one Jamie had to stuff . I used lots of skewers. Then I decided I could not use the mushrooms inside as some people do not like them and in fact are loathe to eat them, so I used mashed potatoes. The mushrooms were a side dish. Yes there was bacon but that was a secret because, for no particular reason (not religious, I checked) some people no longer eat pork, even though they love the taste… Am I evil?
The whole thing came together somehow. Daughter made gravy, traditional stuffing, and mashed potatoes. We had roasted cauliflower too and then son-in-law asked, “Hey, are we eating all white tonight?” I did serve individual ramekins of mac-n-cheese, which I learned, from a rap song on the Xmas compilation CD someone gave me, is traditional African American Xmas food, particularly when served with “Collard Greens” which I did not serve. **sad face icon** Young son said, “I’m not white” and no one argued.
The long and short of it is, I have been stuffing myself TO THE GILLS with leftovers. It has caused me to sleep and sleep and sleep which is great because one of the symptoms of Seasonal Affected Disorder is not being able to sleep. So I am making a note to self: replace clothes with stretch fabrics and pants with draw strings.