…meanwhile I am so dizzy and this is my day: sit down, think of something I need, get up to get it, start something else forget what I got up for, sit down and remember what it was, get up and get distracted…spin and repeat. After years of looking after my mother while she was in a similar state I am now in that state myself! I feel like I am fighting through mashed potatoes.
finding myself waiting for a bus in the heat and the sun (the bus shack is like a solar cooker, what is the point of a clear roof?) A nice young woman said she would let me know when the bus came so I could stand in the door of the Egg Smart restaurant. By that time my head was throbbing and I thought I’d throw up…the medication I am taking is not really helping, I feel like I am reduced to waiting for the moment the yogurt will expire
I don’t see the neurologist again for two months. The thing about seeing a neurologist is, how do you really know what she has said if you are brain impaired? A friend cut out an article for me about post concussion syndrome. I feel like I should just carry it around with me as my saying, “I have a concussion” gets no real response other than “Yeah eh, but you look good, your nose is really healing…” I cut my bangs so you can’t see the lump that is still on my forehead.
This concussion, like with migraine, makes it so I can’t gage my affect. Am I too loud, too urgent too hysterical or have I over compensated too much until I am whispering, calm to the point of coma, and sitting in a burning house?
Avoid parties, bureaucrats, people with agendas, opinions, and or grievances, real or imagined, sunlight, heat and humidity, the urge to buy dresses…
Is it an affront that I am asked to get my photo ID for OHIP and told if I don’t my doctor’s assistant won’t book an appointment for me? How useful will the photo be when I won’t have bandages on my broken nose forever? Am a reasonable to not want to listen to my doctor talk about how difficult OHIP is making it for her and then tell me that despite the fact that I am crying she has a lot of other people to see and there is no time to discuss what I am upset about? Or is it my brain?
Is it my brain?
I want to spend all my time with my grandson and his dog. They seem to be the only people who do not confound me. 😛